Respect Dare Small Groups
If you lead women’s studies, and/or you want to impact marriages
in a way that makes a crazy, wild, lasting difference, try leading The Respect Dare®.
There’s nothing like it out there.
 Growth happens in the context of community.
Start your own Respect Dare small group and expect to grow!

Build supportive relationships with other wives
Create a safe place to share struggles
Deepen your relationship with God

What do I need to lead a Respect Dare small group?
  • A copy of The Respect Dare® book by Nina Roesner - one per participant
  • The Small Group Leader Guide - free downloadable pdf provided with video purchase. For a paper copy, see purchase option below.
  • The Small Group Video set (optional) - 8 casual videos by Nina Roesner. They range from 5 minutes to 29 minutes (total of 2 hours, 15 minutes). They were recorded in Nina’s home, and are meant to feel like she is visiting your small group to talk with you for a bit.
  • Dare to Respect, a novel written by Tammy Oberg De La Garza (optional) - Tammy felt called to write this book after her own life-changing journey through The Respect Dare. God used her phenomenal talent of storytelling to describe many “me, too” moments that will encourage small group participants and give them words if they find it difficult to explain their own marriage in a way that helps the group understand what they're going through.

Do I have to attend a group before I can lead one?

  • No. Although, many women are inspired to form a group after seeing the impact the book has had on their own marriage, this is not a requirement. You may form a group and begin the book with them for the first time. The Small Group Guide gives you all the tips you need to lead your group.
How many should there be in my small group?
  • We recommend a group size of 6-10 women as the optimum range for the best results.
The book includes 40 Dares. How many times should my group meet?
  • We recommend 9 sessions with the goal of completing 5 dares during the week as the homework assignment.

Choose your resources below:

Click image to Purchase

Facilitator Guide

Paper copy of everything you need to know to successfully lead your group.

The Book

Each participant will need their own copy of the book.

The Videos

Extra encouragement from Nina Rosener for your small group. This is a downloadable product.
Video purchase includes free download of the Small Group Guide

The Novel

A novel based on wives who accepted the challenge.

What other Christian Leaders have said about
the Respect Dare:
Dr. Kevin Leman, best-selling author of
"Have a New Husband by Friday":
Nina’s insightful steps in The Respect Dare help you along the path to a better marriage. Walk along this successful path traveled by many women to find growth and fulfillment. Take the first step, I dare you.
Shaunti Feldhahn, best-selling author of "For Women Only:
What you Need to Know about The Inner Lives of Men":
Believe it or not, most men need respect so much that, if they had to, they would give up love to get it – and respect empowers them to be the caring man you most need. One of the most important things you can ever do for your man – and thus for yourself — is to read this book. From the first page you are an active participant as you go through daily scripture, self-reflection, prayer journaling and lots of ‘now I get it!’ examples. Think Nike slogan “Just Do It:” each day you find yourself DOING respect – not just thinking, praying, talking or reading about it – but DOING it. You will find your habits seamlessly changing into new ways of relating that will feel as wonderful and life-changing to you as to him.
Pastor Mark Gungor, best-selling author of 
"Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage":
Women need to affirm, encourage and respect their husbands with their actions and words—and sometimes it is with the lack of words that is most powerful, if you catch my drift! Respect can be shown both by what you say and often times by what you don’t say.
Many times when I speak of this to women, they launch into 20 questions: What does respect mean? What does it look like? How do I show it? What if he doesn’t deserve it? The list goes on and on. While there is no one-size-fits-all answer, or no recipe or steps to follow, understand that the whole concept of respect has more to do with you than it has to do with him.
I encourage all women to accept this respect challenge and find out if I’m right. What do you have to lose except a whole lot of selfishness, bitterness and unrealistic expectations? On the other hand, you have a great opportunity to gain greater understanding, self-confidence, joy and a better relationship with God and your husband.
Go ahead, I dare you. You won’t regret it.
A note from Nina:
Baby, can I EVER so relate to the many women who bristle at the concept of respecting their husband!

So many of us grew up during the feminist movement and have spent years trying to live up to impossible standards of perfection in all the roles we played. What about respect for us?

We were told we could "have it all," but most of us are left feeling like we need to, "be it all," or "do it all," for everyone, all the time. The impossible demands leave us emotionally and spiritually empty and lost as women, uncertain how to attain the so-called ideal. Some of us somehow figure it out. Some of us choose to flounder in marriages where we are alone, frustrated, or just wanting greater intimacy. The remaining 20-30% of us choose divorce, filing for two out of three separations, compared to men.

What's a modern day wife to do? If we turn to the Bible, we see that men are commanded to love their wives, and wives are commanded to respect their husbands. Ephesians 5:33b reads, "And the wife must respect her husband." We don't come by respect naturally, that's why God is so specific with us. The same applies to husbands, but with love, instead. Love is a woman's language, it comes more naturally to us. Respect is a man's language, and most wives struggle with speaking it.

The other issue we have to contend with is that marriages are to be a reflection of Christ's relationship with the church. There's more at stake here than most of us realize. Read Ephesians 5:31-33: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." If we remember that we are created to be a reflection of God, that He created us in His image(Genesis 1:26-27), then we have to face the fact that our marriages are to reflect His character to the world as well.

Wouldn't you like your marriage to reflect Christ and the church better? When we ask ourselves, "When are we most like Christ?" isn't it true that we are most often like Christ when we are loving those who don't deserve it, don't understand us, or don't appreciate us? When we really LOVE at this level, it is truly through the power of the Holy Spirit - and in this way, we give a positive and powerful reflection of God to the world.

We know that men are wired to interact with the world around them differently than women. Researchers have found that men’s brains are physiologically different than women’s brains. Men are beings where honor and respect matter greatly, and they will often do things out of a deep sense of duty, even with the knowledge that it could be tremendously difficult or cost them their lives.

Remember 9/11? Three hundred and forty-three firefighters set their jaws and squared their shoulders and began the one-hundred story climb up the World Trade Center to their deaths. What goes through a man’s mind that he actively chooses to walk into danger like that? As women, we may never fully appreciate nor understand this unique wiring, unless we learn to communicate and connect with the unique individual God created within our own man. Without this understanding, we are destined to live a life lonely and bereft of the intimacy for which we yearn in our marriages.

The Respect Dare® is a book about what works. After listening to literally thousands of stories of struggles overcome and successes won from women in the Daughters of Sarah program, we have a great deal of evidence. There exists a connection between the relationship a wife has with her God, her husband, and her strengths. This book is a glimpse into the lives of these women and what they have done to turn their marriages around or take them to the next level of relational intimacy. All the stories are based on true events. Their stories and the way their connection with God develops will impact you.

If you are looking for a way to improve the quality of your relationship with your husband and your God, The Respect Dare® will help you do that!

Love to you,
Our culture doesn’t teach us what biblical respect is about. In fact, it stands opposed to it. Respect is something that is disappearing from all of our relationships – in our families, in our schools, at work, and in our marriages.
The Respect Dare challenges us, as women, to learn what respect really is, to embrace it, and see how it can change our marriages. Literally.

From one of our participants:
I’ve found the love and respect I’ve been fighting for in my marriage for over 20 years by giving it away!
~Clara B.

We don’t know what respect looks like, and we worry if we’ll become a doormat. We’re afraid of losing something, but we actually have so much to gain!

When we aren’t respectful to our husbands, we misrepresent Christ and the church – marriage is more about being like Jesus than anything else. We are called to be a reflection of the life of Christ – as God made us in His image.
Admittedly, this is difficult to do! That’s why there’s The Respect Dare. There’s much at stake, however – it’s mind-blowing to consider that Christ’s reputation is affected by our marriages.

The Envelope - read this after you finish the book :)

You have been waiting months to open your envelope.

You are wondering what the significance of the wait is.

James 1:4 says:
Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

And so there you have it.

If you have “done the book” you have connected more deeply with God. He has likely revealed a few things to you along the way:
~~Who He is (worthy of all of our worship)
~~Who He should be to us (the center of everything, the most important Person and Being)
~~Who we are to Him (restored to Him through Christ’s death and resurrection, able to approach Him, as we are precious to Him)

So now that you have finished the book (and this won’t “work” unless you have done over 90% of it) and when you get to the point where you are ready to open the envelope, I have a few questions for you (and your small group if you choose to get together and discuss these things):
~~What does what you wrote down reveal about where you were in your faith walk?
~~What has changed?
~~Why has it changed?
~~What has God done with what you’ve written down, either within you, or outside of you?
~~What have you learned as a result?

Dare you to share your outcomes and Envelope Experiences with us here!

Glad you are on the journey with us. We hope you will consider joining us on our Strength & Dignity journey! 

Love to you,

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